I hate living in Logan.
When I first moved here I was excited and hopeful that
I'd make so many new friends, I'd have great experiences, I'd love my classes.
Sadly, that is not the case.
I tried to be outgoing for the first month.
I went to dances, barbecues, bingo nights, pancake parties, study groups.
But it just became hard.
I have never been that person that befriends everyone in the room.
I've had the same best friends since 8th grade.
And I miss them. I miss my boyfriend. I miss my family.
So much.
I didn't realize how hard it would be to leave the people I love.
Everyday seems worse than the last.
Maybe I'm being dramatic.
Maybe I've given up too early.
All I know is that my heart has been hurting for the past three months.
So here I am.
Alone. Depressed. Passionless. Angry
My eyes are red and blotchy as I write this post.
My eyes are red and blotchy as I write this post.
Longing for the place I call home and the people I cherish.
ok, my first semester at college was EXACTLY the same. i'm serious.
ReplyDeletei totally hated it and i wanted to move home so badly and i couldn't figure out why everyone said college was so great, because it really wasn't.
it's pretty weird, but things will start falling into place. by the time april gets here, you won't want to leave. that seems hard to believe right now, but it's true.
even now, i sometimes think college is a drag, and it can be. you just need to remember that this is a super unique time in your life that you will never get to experience again!
you don't always have to be super outgoing. it's totally cool to just lock yourself in your room for a few hours and not speak to anyone and eat a whole bag of cadbury eggs haha. i do that sometimes.
college is hard, but because you're doing hard things, you're going to get to know yourself better. and all of a sudden it might be kind of fun! just endure. these are things i wish i could have told myself during my first semester, so i hope it's helpful. you're great!
and if you need me to send you funny videos periodically, i'm happy to do so :)